Why You're Wrong About the Right

And on your right, ladies and gentlemen, please observe The Conservative (Conservitus Americanus). This fascinating species in-habits vast territories across middle America, but rarely reveals itself in coastal urban areas. It is commonly believed to be uptight, humorless, and devoid of compassion, and is often characterized as racist, homophobic, and highly eco-unfriendly. Primary behaviors include unnecessary warmongering, tax cutting, and gun collecting. For decades, conservatives have proven